What does it look like to love someone with all that you are? When I got married I promised my hubby “all I am for all my life”. Turns out I had no idea what that meant. And if I’m honest, sometimes that promise of “all of me” looks a lot like my husband getting the short end of the stick.
It really is true that those vows you make to one another on that day, mean a whole lot more as time goes on. When the ugly parts of you seem to be making their way to the surface more often than you’d like, or the worst parts of you seem to outweigh the good. That promise to give him “all I am” may not have been what he thought he was getting himself into. On our wedding day it probably sounded good. He might have thought, “I get to spend my life with this sweet woman who I love. I get to enjoy all that she is, body, mind and soul.” Sounds like a pretty good deal.
But with all of those good things come the… other stuff. The snarky comments, the nagging, the mood swings, the bouts of depression. You end up getting more than you bargained for. And sometimes it doesn’t seem like a bargain at all.
More like you ended up with a lemon.
I’m sure that sometimes Tony looks at me and thinks, “what the heck did I get myself into” or “this is not what I signed up for!” I can be tough to live with at times. I find myself falling into negative patterns that I’m not proud of. I hear myself nagging and criticizing the one I love and I find myself really disliking the person I see myself becoming.
But in some ways that is what we signed up for. All of another person for the rest of our lives means we get it all. The good the bad and the ugly. We get it all. We decide to join our lives together with someone who is wonderful but also imperfect and in process. All means all.
So what does it look like to love someone with all that you are? I can honestly say that I know what it looks like because I watch Tony do that every day. He loves me in best and worst moments. He does what he can to lighten my load when I feel overwhelmed. He makes a conscious effort to not talk too much, but to ask me about my day. He does the dishes every night and does the laundry. He tells me how he feels and lets me see into the secret parts of his heart. He shares with me his good, bad, and ugly too, and loves me better than I deserve.
I am one lucky…. no… blessed girl.
How have you been blessed or experienced being loved for who you are?